Issue History	Bliss News
October 4, 2000	Westborough, MA	25 cents cheap
Hair Thief Strikes Again! Darkest Colorado It seems like only yesterday - or the day after that - when we told you the heart-wrenching tale of a former Westborough miss who's long flowing locks had been snipped at the hands of a mad person, well, a very annoyed person, leaving her with short yet still recognizable hair. The New Look But now our remote reporter reports (remotely) that the hair thief has struck yet again, this time with sharper instruments and more evil purpose. Our hapless victim has been clipped bald! Shorn and bereft! Starkers. What's a girl to do now? In somewhat happier times Shall she turn to bowling alley wax or turtle wax? The path facing her will be challenging and complex, if	somewhat smoother. Now about those armpits... Octogenarian Honered Shrewsbury - where the Shrews are. Known throughout the lower end of Pleasant Street and partway 'round the corner of Ide Street as a mean woman woman of means, (and ways), the renowned Winnonah Watts was honored by thousands in a gala event celebrating the Portuguese language and the Miracle of Brazilian Barbecue. We asked the 84-year-old for a comment but all she would say was, "Gimmie more meat! I want meat!" With course after course of beef, sausage, chicken, pork and disgusting little chicken hearts coming her way non-stop. The festivities did not end until the kitchen informed the party that they had run out of meat and weren't expecting any more for a week. WE think they lied, but it's hard to say. Everyone there spoke Portuguese.. except us.	New Messaging System Demonstrated Westborough You've all heard of Morse Code. You may even have known that Samuel B. Morse is a 5th cousin to the Bliss Family. You may even know that Samuel B. Morse was a THIEVIN' RAT who stole the whole idea of code with dots and dashes that now bears his name - the Rat. Well, a local folk hero, one Deborah Britomart, has devised a new muli-tonal code system to replace the boring monotone Morse code and allow both emotional content and multi-messaging at the same time. By tapping out the letters in pitches in the major and minor scale, sort of like melodies, one can convey anger, love, humor, irony and desperate longing.- the whole emotional gambit. And with a full tonal range, twelve personal messages can be sent simultaneously, each message being in it's own key, You could be sending in the Key of G and receiving in the Key of B flat. Too bad somebody already invented the telephone, but don't tell Deb.